We all have them, in our complaining episodes, during gossipy moments, when frustration or cattiness takes over. The worst demon I have is my ability to yell and run my mouth off, in particular with my daughter. She has the ability to push every button and laugh while doing it. Surely it’s amusing to a little girl to see an adult woman turn into a lunatic in front of her innocent eyes 👀, but not so amusing for me.
And sometimes later when the fight has calmed and I see myself I think, what happened to you? Where did your calm go dealing with a child? This is when the inner judge-y demon rears its ugly head. The one that makes you feel lower than low. The one who allows every other bad thought about anything to invade your present moment and make it ten times worse. The demon that makes you feel isolated and uniquely horrible. And all you come up with at that moment is another judgment… how could I possibly have lost my cool like that?
What’s amazes me is that I don’t flip out with people I don’t know like that. People who are flat out rude and disrespectful… and all of sudden, I’ve lost my voice. And then where does that feeling go? The one of embarrassment, hurt, loss of pride… it feeds that damn Demon again! So who gets the brunt of it…my most precious little loves ❤ <3. They can stir up every emotion, and when their actions are not what I was hoping for or needed at the moment of weakness, watch out! The Demon is released! So how exactly can such little beings evoke so much feeling out a grown adult?
My (at the moment) calm and rational self, thinks it has to be due to all this pent up negativity. Not caused so much by others, but by my own outlook. What if I were to change my lens? Would I be able to squash those mean demons and prevent them from gaining any more power? Would I be able to remove them forever… or at the very least diminish their power of my own well-being?
Lucky for me, I have attended multiple training and speaking engagements lately. All of them touched upon or even centered on goals. So, that’s led me to set a goal to be more patient with my children. So, I have to smarten this goal up! Let’s start with the Specifics:
S – Staying calm with my kids (even after a long day at work, even after a dispute, even after traffic, even with little sleep… and so on… phew)
Onto Measure! Well, this one is on me – keeping myself honest. I think to start with counting the times a day I raise my voice and lowering it will be my easiest way to measure. Perhaps using a visual measure on my phone or in my home will aid me in my quest to reach this intangible goal. (more on what I used later!)
M – number of times I yell reduced from (yikes) 10 / day and reduce to 0 / day
Ok… action is next. Well, this is where is can get crazy, so let’s keep it real. I think I will take two to start:
A – Wake up grateful for the day and pursue a calm approach by: 1- not touching my phone first thing and 2- taking 5 minutes to meditate/ stretch and concentrate on 3 happy thoughts.
Realistic? If I can’t find 5 minutes in the morning, I’m kidding myself. Relevant?
R – So yes… suck it up and don’t hit snooze again! Ummm … if you don’t change your ways you’ll get more upset and unhappy… so yes again, your well-being will thank you.
Lastly… timebound. Here goes.. do you think I can stop yelling in a month?
T- Start 5/6/17, Finish – adopt new behavior by 6/6/17
This post (along with my mentor who pushed me to post it!) will keep me accountable. Thanks for reading 🙂